Why is it just a “Women’s Rights Issue.”

If I learned anything in my stellar public high school education, it would be the science behind answering the question of, “Where do babies come from?”

At some point in every abortion story, there was a man present. That fact cannot be argued. And, in my mind, in every abortion story, there is a point where that man abdicated his responsibility in some way.

I agree wholeheartedly with former NFL tight end Benjamin Watson and his take. In short, men, it’s time for us to stop making excuses and step up. We DO have a voice on this issue, and we CAN be part of the solution.

And what about the women who have been aborted? If it’s a “women’s rights issue”, what about their rights? My daughter could have been one of them. I’ve written about her, and how abortion was offered as an option to us, during our pregnancy with her.

In light of the recent decisions in New York and Virginia, I’ve been grieved and wrestling with what it is that I could possibly offer or do. A social media post just isn’t good enough. If you’ve made a post about these events, no matter how scathing, and just stopped there, then what was the point?

A post or comment isn’t going to make the women pursuing abortions feel like they have another option. They need to feel supported, not condemned.

What if the women feeling like an abortion is an answer felt so loved, supported, and cared for that they didn’t even consider abortion a viable option?

The fact is, I’ve had some emotional and heart-breaking conversations with women who are very close to me, members of my family, who have had an abortion. The pain and hurt that is carried with these women runs deep, and it doesn’t go away. Here are just a couple of quotes from our conversations:

“The thing people don’t think about is how the girl has to go on from there and live her life. I know how it feels to not know what to do. To be 17 and feel like you have no options. To feel like you have no support, to feel hopeless….and then to know you’ve just made the worst decision of your life.”

“As the procedure was done, it felt like I was losing part of my soul. For a long time I could cover it up and go about my day. The ones who celebrate it, they don’t talk about the after-effects. Every single woman who experiences an abortion experiences the after-effects. You cannot cover it up, you will deal with it at one point or another. You cannot kill your own child and not experience a deep depression at some point. When you have an abortion it’s like killing yourself, and nobody talks about that.”

If reading those quotes doesn’t compel you to want to take action, then I pray that your heart would be softened.

Over the past few weeks I’ve had several conversations with some of the leadership at our local Pregnancy Care Center, which is one of the best in the nation. Obviously, you can fight and pray for laws to be changed, upheld, or whatever needs to happen. And I am so happy about the support the current Heartbeat Bill is getting in my state’s legislature. But, laws alone don’t change behavior.

After touring my local Pregnancy Care Center facility and asking what their needs are, here are three tangible ways to get involved:

Take a Tour

The first step I would encourage is to simply find your local version of a Pregnancy Care, Pregnancy Resource, or Crisis Pregnancy Center and just take a tour. Heartbeat International is a great resource for finding facilities near you. You will be amazed at how many services are offered. I know I was. And the more people know about these options, the more people can champion them to the community and to clients.

Donate Items

This one is so simple. Donating baby items is the easy one to remember. Next time, why not consider donating maternity clothing or items that would be useful for the mother? That’s a great way to make a direct impact on a pregnant mother.

Consider Fatherhood Coaching

Sorry, ladies, this one is for the guys. In Springfield alone, of the 1,152 clients that were served by the Pregnancy Care Center in 2018, only 199 were fathers involved in classes and coaching. Uh…men…the time is now for us to step up. Of the small sample that had a father walk through the pregnancy with the mother, the success of the pregnancy was much greater.

Guys, no longer can we sit on the sidelines on this issue. It’s time for us to take a stand and come along side these mothers AND fathers.

To me, it’s toxic masculinity that leads to abortion. It’s real masculinity that leads to healthy babies and strong families.

Now, put your phone down, and take action.

#daddylessons