Recently, I have had two really good friends become dads for the first time.

It was interesting to me that the two of them, who don’t know each other, both shared how shocking it was that they were handed this baby, this human life form, and basically told, “Good luck!”

Sure, there are birthing classes, parenting books, articles about fatherhood, and even blogs LIKE THIS ONE. And that’s why it’s so interesting that new dads still feel so unprepared when that little human makes its grand entrance into the world.

So, I’m not going to pontificate on how essential it is for the father to be involved in a child’s life or the theories on nature versus nurture and the father’s role in their child’s development…though maybe I will someday. I’m going to keep it as practical as possible. So for you guys getting ready to be a dad for the first time, or even if it’s not the first time, here are some tips to help you embark on this exciting new journey.

Change the First Diaper

Whether your wife gave birth naturally, had a C-section, or you adopted, this is your chance to step up and show your wife she’s not alone. Regardless of how the baby came into your life, chances are your wife is feeling the weight of this incredible responsibility.  The least you can do to show her she’s not alone is to roll up your sleeves, get your hands dirty (most likely), and change a diaper. Get a clothes pin for your nose. Use some latex gloves. Do whatever you have to do, but change the first diaper.

Change the Second Diaper

Yes, it’s that important. I remember having to call the nurse in while we were in the hospital so she could show me what to do because my wife couldn’t get up. Our first born was 9lbs. 9oz. Call the nurse, phone a friend, whatever you have to do to step in and change some doggone diapers.

Don’t Wait for A Compliment

Let me ask you this, if you’re a sports guy, let’s say you’re playing basketball, and you make a shot. Do you run back on defense and ask them to pay you a compliment or say Thank You? No, you would be insane, and you would never want to play with anyone who did that. Guess what, you’re on a team, with your spouse, and the game is raising this new child. Now, is it nice when your teammates give you a quick compliment, of course! But you don’t sulk until you get one. Do your job and serve your team. If you’re lucky, your wife might give you a pat on the butt every now and then and say good job. Do your job regardless.

Find Your Thing

I learned this one from my wife. From the time our babies were born, she had certain songs she would sing them as she soothed them or as they drifted off to sleep. Quickly, they became like a magic elixir for when they were fussy. She would start to sing, and they would start to settle. It really was amazing. There are times now when they will want to be reminded of the songs she used to sing them. Find your thing and be consistent with it. Whether it’s a song, or a way you hold them, or anything else that can be specific to you, it’s amazing the special bond that can be created from the time they are babies.

Find a Mentor and Pay it Forward

This is a two-for-one. You will never know it all as a parent. So don’t act like you do. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Find another father in your life who you respect, and whose kids seem to have a good relationship with him. Get to know him. Ask him questions. You’ll be amazed at how willing other dads are to share advice. On the flip side, be open to sharing what you have learned up to this point with other dads too. You don’t know all the answers, but you know your answers. And your answers might be helpful to someone else too.

And that’s what I’m trying to do with this blog. Hopefully some of the topics I share are helpful to someone. I’ll take it a step further, if you would like to talk more about fatherhood, please reach out and let me know. I’m always happy to compare notes, and learn from all kinds of dads. The phrase “it takes a village” is really not that far from the truth. Comment below or send me an email at daddylessonsblog@gmail.com. I’d love to talk with you. Until then, go change a diaper.

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