“Sorry.”
It’s such a simple word. But why is it so hard to say sometimes?

As a man, I’m wired to fix things and have a desire to lead through strength. I want to model strength to my kids and show them how to develop strong relationships.

When I hear someone airing a complaint, I immediately start thinking about solutions. When I’m the cause of the complaint, angst, or pain because of something I said or did, that’s tough. It can make me feel weak. Like I want to crawl into a hole and hide. Maybe that’s just me.

Here’s what I’ve learned: apologies aren’t about weakness—they’re actually the quickest way to restore strength in a relationship. They’re one of the most powerful tools we have to model humility, build trust, and teach our kids about grace.

Think back to your own childhood. Do you remember the times when an adult apologized to you? Probably not many. And that’s part of what makes apologies so powerful—they’re rare, and they stick with you.

When we apologize to our kids, we’re showing them:

• Mistakes don’t define us.
• Relationships matter more than pride.
• Grace is a two-way street.

I’ve had to apologize to my kids more times than I’d care to admit, and it’s challenging every time. I guess the Lord really wants to teach them how to humbly apologize through me!

Usually it revolves around the same type of scenario. We’re already running late, everyone’s shoes have mysteriously vanished, and you’ve raised your voice…more than once. Sometimes I feel like starting with a raised voice might get a response and get us in the car more quickly.

Side Note: One time my wife was doing a quiz with the kids that was supposed to be fun and lighthearted. She asked them, “What is something we say to you guys a lot at home?” David responded, without hesitating, “GET IN THE CAR!” We laughed. Then cried. Then laughed a little more. Can you relate?

Often, I can tell when I’m headed towards a future apology. The words are coming out so fast, and I can’t seem to stop. Once I make my point and get everything off my chest, the look on their faces says everything.

I messed up.

The next steps are all too familiar. I look them in the eye, and say, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That wasn’t okay.” Almost immediately, the relationship is restored and strengthened.

It wasn’t just an apology—it was a moment of connection, healing, and growth.

So, how do we, as dads, get better at this apology thing? Here are three ways to start:

1. Own It Completely: Skip the excuses. A real apology sounds like, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry,” not “I’m sorry, but you…”
2. Make It Right: Ask, “How can I fix this?” Whether it’s repairing a toy or spending extra one-on-one time, actions speak louder than words.
3. Model It Consistently: Kids learn by watching us. The more we model genuine apologies, the more they’ll carry that habit into their own lives.

Bonus: Modeling to our kids how we apologize to our wives is just as important. They need to see the apology conversation happen in a healthy way between adults too.

The point is, apologies can be an opportunity to connect, laugh, and remind our kids that nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay.

At the end of the day, apologies are less about the words we say and more about the hearts we heal. They teach our kids that it’s okay to mess up, as long as we’re willing to make it right.

So, go ahead: say “I’m sorry.” Look them in the eye, and show them that humility and love can overcome even the biggest mistakes. It might just be the greatest gift you give them.