There’s a moment every dad has.

You’re looking at your child—who has just painted on the wall, sassed back, or “accidentally” given their sibling a WWE finishing move—and you think to yourself: Am I being punked right now?

Discipline is one of the hardest parts of parenting. Because it’s not about punishment. It’s about teaching. It’s about shaping hearts, not just stopping behavior. And spoiler alert: it’s just as much about our own discipline as it is about theirs.

We discipline our kids because we love them—not because we’re angry or annoyed (though, let’s be honest, that is sometimes a part of it).

Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Discipline isn’t just correction—it’s preparation. We’re helping them become responsible, thoughtful, resilient adults who can show up on time, manage their emotions, and be responsible with their finances.

Discipline vs. Being Disciplined

Now, there’s a difference between receiving discipline and living with discipline.

• Discipline as correction says, “What you just did isn’t okay, and here’s the consequence.”
• Discipline as a lifestyle says, “Here’s what it looks like to choose the right thing over the easy thing—on purpose.”

Both are critical. But teaching our kids how to live with discipline starts with us modeling it.

If we want our kids to be disciplined with their time, emotions, and responsibilities…
– they need to see us making wise choices with our time.
– they need to see us getting up early (even when we don’t want to).
– they need to hear us apologize when we mess up (remember that post?).
– they need to watch us put the phone down when we say we’re “spending time together.”

I feel that one too.

One of the hardest parts of teaching discipline is figuring out when they are ready to start learning it. This past year, my boys expressed an interest in exercising and working out. So, I started getting them up early before school for a little garage gym workout session. They are both very different so it took me a while to figure out what motivated each of them. Yes, there was some crying, tears, and frustration. And from the boys too. But we’ve finally gotten to the point where they are asking me to make sure we are going to work out in the morning. They are starting to experience what James Clear shares in his book Atomic Habits, “Small habits, when repeated consistently, lead to remarkable results.”

Three Ways to Lead with Discipline

1. Set Clear Expectations
   Discipline without clarity creates confusion. Make sure your kids know the boundaries before they cross them. (I’m still learning not to make up consequences on the fly… “If you do that again, I’ll… cancel Christmas??”)
2. Be Consistent (Even When It’s Hard)
   The hardest part of discipline is following through. But consistency builds trust—even when the consequences aren’t fun.
3. Celebrate Self-Discipline
   When your child chooses well on their own, call it out! Praise them for waking up on time, choosing kindness, or finishing their homework without being asked. That’s the long game.

At the end of the day, discipline isn’t just about managing behavior—it’s about shaping character. And that takes time, prayer, consistency, and a whole lot of grace (for them and for us).

So, go ahead: say no to the candy breakfast. Set the boundary. Follow through. And when they roll their eyes or groan dramatically, remind yourself—they may not understand it now, but one day they’ll thank you for it….Probably.