Perfection is a mirage.

It is a thing that cannot be attained. A deception of the highest order. A false fountain of cool, refreshing water in a vast desert wilderness.

So, as parents, why do we strive for it? Shoot. As humans, why are we obsessed with it?

A perfect game. A perfect day. A perfect world.

Just stop it.

The very definition of “Perfect” reveals just how unattainable it is. Here’s what our all-knowing friend Merriam Webster has to say about perfection:

Being entirely without fault or defect

Yup, I’m out on that. Faults? Defects? It doesn’t take me very long to realize I’m automatically disqualified. So where does that leave us then? Is there an alternative?

I guess we just have to settle for Excellence. Here’s Merriam:

Very good of its kind : eminently good

Hey. I could get into that. That feels way more attainable.

How many times have you heard someone apologetically admit, “Well, I’m not perfect.”

Next time you hear that, I challenge you to respond with, “Oh, thank God!”

Can you imagine if reaching perfection as a parent was something attainable? How intimidating and damaging that would be for our kids! To never see someone mess up and have to apologize or make a mistake and have to fix it? How ill-prepared they would be to deal with real life!

Perfection isn’t the goal. Perfection shouldn’t be the goal. We should strive for excellence in success….and in failure.

But what would failing with excellence even look like?

It would be apologizing when you mishandle a situation with your spouse or kid.

It would be humbly acknowledging that you messed up, without providing an excuse.

It would be admitting to your kids that you don’t always get things right, and showing them it’s okay.

How liberating it is for us, and our kids, that we aren’t perfect parents. When we put the perfection pressure on ourselves that pressure trickles down to our kids.

Is the expectation of perfection something you want your kids to live with? I certainly hope not, because it’s impossible to attain.

Excellence, however, is worth striving for in everything we do. After all, you can miss on perfection and still be a champion. Just ask the 2011 New York Giants. They finished the regular season with a record of 9-7, and went on to win the Super Bowl! They are champions, just like the undefeated “perfect” 1972 Dolphins. One is not more “Super Bowl-y” than the other.

So, let go of the perfection. Strive for excellence.

You’ll be better for it, and so will your kids.

#daddylessons